Bill Making Stuff

Something funny, not depressing...

Studson Studio has garnered a lot of internet attention. Guy's been posting about a year, has over 100K subscribers. Pastor Paul Sheppard has been preaching for 40 years, has 8K subscribers. Go figure. 

Anyway, this English guy named Bill commented on one of Studson's posts, challenging him to a make-off in that snarky Douglas Adams kind of Britishness that this American can't get enough of, so I clicked over there to find a somewhat morose fellow looking down on me from his carved-out workshop space and I haven't stopped tuning in since. 

Again, the videography, editing and style are top-notch. If Bill has another life, maybe he works in production. The sound effects are Monty Python cheers, boos and farts. Haven't officially identified coconuts yet, but wouldn't surprise me if they come. 

I have zero interest in the rusty, post-apocalyptic robots slash vehicles he creates, but I can't stop watching him make them. He made this hermit crab thing that was pretty cool, and a "giant" robot overlord that was so cute. Not sure Bill was going for cute, but I wanted to take it home and give it a can of oil and some bolts to snack on. 

Anyway, if you're up for some low-key UK sarcasm with bits of junk, lots of super glue and more rust than you could ever want, hop over to Bill Making Stuff and enjoy. 

BYYYYYYYYYYE! 

Studson Studio

Something funny, not depressing... 

When I was happy a few months ago, I discovered Studson Studio on YouTube. He wasn't a destination, just one of those suggested paths the unwary can follow in YouTubeland like Alice in the looking glass. 

I was working on my dollhouse because I felt happy and had some energy to spare for having fun. It was really nice while it lasted. 

Google keyed off my miniature searches and YouTube began suggesting miniature building videos. Cue Studson. 

He's a born director, videographer, cinematographer, editor, gaffer and foley artist. One of his videos includes a video remake, shot as a child, of the first Jurassic Park, starring siblings and friends the summer it came out. It's the video where he recreates his childhood home as a building from Jurassic Park. 

He is funny. Down in the belly funny in the stream-of-consciousness, video-laden-cultural-references, self-effacing way some Millennials have that makes me think of him as the son I never knew I wanted. 

Add his use of trash and recycled materials to build 28mm scale miniatures for tabletop gaming, and I can spend hours watching him without regret. 

He hasn't been posting for long, a year, perhaps, but he has over 100K subscribers. I know they all think he's funny, too. 

So, if you need a little pick me up after a hard day, check out Studson Studio. 

Keep the faith. 

Waiting

That's my life this year. Waiting.

Waiting to figure out what was wrong with Simon. Waiting for the election with the same hyper-alertness I usually reserve for severe weather outbreak days. Waiting for information on Second Dad. Waiting for Sweetie's fatty tumors to turn malignant.

The waiting is over for those issues, except for Second Dad, but that has turned into waiting with treatments.

Now, waiting for Caleb to heal or die.

Those are the choices, really. Because if his medical condition was kidney infection triggered by the stress of losing housemates and a grieving human, I have four other potential patients living in this house, and I cannot afford emergency or long-term treatment for all of them.

So I wait for enough time to pass to get a clear blood test to confirm kidney infection vs disease. I wait for Caleb to decide what food he will eat, and I wait to see if he can keep it down. I wait for him to pee normally, and I wait for him to stop peeing and require further medical intervention. I choose to wait, and I wait to choose.

I wait for Toffee to either stop screaming at two hour intervals all night or for it to happen long enough that I kill her because sleep deprivation has deprived me of all reason. There is no way to muffle a yowling Siamese in an 823 square foot house.

I wait for Skamper to fall ill, since he is the one who should be having bladder problems. I can't afford it if he does, so I'm basically waiting for him to die, too.

This is an extremely whiny post, and more than a little self-pitying. I apologize. I hope by writing it down, I remove its power over me.

I am not a fighter. If God wants to remove my cats, I can't stop him, and I won't try anymore. I could be down to two by Spring.

I am currently waiting for a Feliway multi-cat stress-reducing pheromone dispenser to arrive. Then I must wait to see if it works.

Dear God, let it work.

Gone Writin'

I finally remembered to turn the furnace on after our streak of warm weather, and I have cats sprawled across every vent to prove it. This is why I wear socks.

With Farmville out of my life, politics making it impossible to stomach nearly any form of electronic media, and the busiest time of year at work compounded with my recent promotion, I am stressed. The kind of stress I would usually rely on my mouthpiece to counter, but the mouthpiece didn't fit after the crown, and it didn't seem to be working that last year anyway, so I'm searching for a new stress-combating strategy.

Fortunately, it's Spring. Swamp Time. Time to be out in the muck battling the Curse and cursing the battle to make one space somewhat vital for an all-too-brief span. That takes care of the exercise portion of stress release, but it doesn't help with the emotional portion.

I'm writing. In the morning during my normal blogging time, and in the evening after Swamp Time. I have no idea how long it will last, or whether anything useful will grow out of it, but I'm doing it.

Therefore, for an undetermined time, I will be writing elsewhere in what I hope to be a productive and stress-reducing manner.

Enjoy your Spring.

Applaud the jellyfish.

Stretching and Zombie Skulls

I resumed Classical Stretch this morning.

I had to quit during my extended bout of vertigo that started over Christmas. Couldn't handle most movement for over a month. The funny thing was, during that month, my back didn't hurt. At all. Which was a tremendous blessing because I don't know how I could have lain completely still to combat the motion sickness while my back screamed at me for lying completely still.

However, my back was so pain-free, I started wondering if the stretching was causing the pain. I mean, I stretched for three months and had extreme back-pain all that time.

I needn't have worried. About a week ago, the back started hurting again, enough to wake me up at night, and follow me to work during the day, despite oils and aspirin. I'm starting to wonder if I should see a doctor. I mean, what are the symptoms of bone cancer?

TT: A co-worker asked why I thought it was cancer. "I always go worst-case scenario first," I assured her. She rolled her eyes and suggested I might start with a chiropractor.

The part that hurts doesn't even seem to have a specific name. I've looked really hard. The whole muscle is called the latissimus dorsi, but only the part that sits between that dimple in the middle of the backside and the top of my hips hurts. How does that part even get stretched?

Anyway, I have to do something physical. There is no point going into The Swamp when it's frozen, and that's where I work out my stress. For the first time, I'm wishing I had a set of weights.

TT: I did go out last night and spend 10 minutes hacking at the tree stump with my new-to-me mattock, thinking about zombie skulls (and a couple of not-yet-zombie skulls) with each chop. Have I mentioned people frustrate me?

I'm sad about how much flexibility I've lost in 6 weeks, but that's OK. I'm in this for the long haul. Like life.

Push button. Receive bacon.

I've Been Reading

The first month of 2016 has been a bit much at work. Three people left us for new jobs, The Powers That Be have rearranged other jobs, and I am training four people on four different "desks" (sets of job duties). I've never done this kind of training before, and my students are varied in skill sets and aptitude. Fortunately, they are all adults willing to try, and that is half the battle.

My hourly mantra, both spoken and prayed, is "we will get through this," and the proof of my enforced confidence is... we are. Everyone is learning, and adapting, and gaining competence, and the world is settling into a calmer pattern.

In the past, this kind of brain fry would involve Farmville clicking for hours in the evening, but I gave that up as being not only unhelpful but demonstrably harmful.

Anne McCaffrey's Crystal Singer kept coming to mind - the tale of a woman driven to be The Best in whatever difficult, prestigious career she could find - so I read that this weekend, and was relieved to discover I still love the book.

TT: Sometimes my younger-self feelings don't match my older-self worldview anymore, and I've lost some favorite enjoyments as a result.

I've moved to Killashandra, and will finish off with Crystal Line eventually. It's been nice to turn off the electronics - except for the blanket - crack the spine of an old scifi novel, and remember why I love Anne's style. Add some Benedryl and Bayer back and body aspirin, and I've even managed to sleep through the night two nights in a row. It's a miracle.

Push button. Receive bacon.

Why I'm Too Old to Go to Theaters to Watch Movies

I said I'm too old to go to the theater to three different people, and all three asked "What does that mean?"

Theaters are too loud. I don't live my life with earbuds implanted in my aural canal at volumes intended to melt my brain. I don't need Dolby surround sound for anything that happens on screen. I resent surround sound in real life. It keeps me awake. Even if I take ibuprofen before going in, I always leave with a splitting headache that lasts the next 24 hours.

Theaters are too cold. The kind of cold that requires a coat, and a face mask if I thought I could get away with it and not be shot for a terrorist. I don't like being cold, and I don't like shivering in the cold for two and a half hours in summer. I have this problem at work, too, but I get paid to be there.

Theaters are too crowded. I don't like to be jostled. I don't like stepping over or around people. I don't like people bumping into me as they step over and around me. I am not a rat on a sinking ship. I will not tolerate feeling like one. Addendum: sitting absolutely still to avoid touching my neighbors exacerbates the back pain I will automatically generate by sitting for more than an hour. Ibuprofen doesn't prevent this, either.

Theaters are too sickly. When was the last time you went to a movie someone didn't cough through? Usually the someone right behind you. Not that I can hear them. I just feel the spray.

Movies are too high-flying, twisty-turny, upside-downy camera work. Seriously. Think of a recent movie that didn't have at least one scene where someone dangles from "fill in the blank" while the camera flies all around them, presumably on the back of a deranged fairy. Add the "shaking" of a hand-held camera (a pox on The Blair Witch Project for that little indie affectation) to up the excitement level, and my fellow patrons will get more half-digested popcorn excitement sprayed on them than they bargained for. I've spent good portions of movies with my eyes closed to avoid motion sickness.

Movies are too dependent on the special effects or soundtrack to be enjoyable with my eyes closed. Guardians of the Galaxy, the last movie I saw, is a perfect example of a so-so movie made ridiculously popular because some people can't get over the 70's. I was over it the minute I was born in it.

Finally, it is too expensive. I am not willing to pay $11.50 for a matinee show where I will be yelled at, frozen solid, alternately pummeled and stretched on a rack, exposed to Typhoid, nauseated and bored for three solid hours.

When I want all that, I can ride the bus to work.

Push button. Receive bacon.

22 Things Happy People Do Differently

I've never heard of these before this morning, don't know where the list came from, but I'm happy (huh-huh) to say they aren't unfamiliar to me as a way to live by grace in Jesus Christ. Yeah, I'm a Christian. I have to bring Jesus into it.



1. Don’t hold grudges.
2. Treat everyone with kindness.
3. See problems as challenges.
4. Express gratitude for what you already have.
5. Dream big.
6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
7. Speak well of others.
8. Never make excuses.
9. Get absorbed into the present.
10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
11. Avoid social comparison.
12. Choose friends wisely.
13. Never seek approval from others.
14. Take the time to listen.
15. Nurture social relationships.
16. Meditate.
17. Eat well.
18. Exercise.
19. Live minimally.
20. Tell the truth.

21. Establish personal control.

22. Accept what cannot be changed.

Happy Wednesday, dear readers. Don't sweat the small stuff. 

Fringe Is Back

In the best possible way. After a six week hiatus, the only show I regularly watch returned to the airwaves with a wonderfully suspenseful flashback episode. I even stopped playing Farmville and moved to a room without a computer to watch it.

I had seen the previews. I feared what would happen with John Noble's makeup. How on earth would they de-age him at least 17 years? But they did. I was amazed with the results. I don't know what horrible makeup process he had to endure, but it was worth it. I will admit his curly hairdo did remind me a bit of some characters from that other wonderful show he was in, The Return of the King, but I got past it.

We saw a pre-crazy Walter, brilliant and coherent, a loving father who grieved deeply at the loss of his son. We saw the enraged Walter, the man of science who damns God even as he denies His existence. And we saw the devil-may-care-but-I-don't Walter, who will try anything because it is theoretically possible. In short, a one hour ode to Walter, chock full of terrible choices and consequences.

Only one little snag threatens to unravel this quirky quilt of sci-fi and melodrama. I hope it will be answered later, if J.J. Abrams is paying attention. 

If the other Walter Bishop is just as brilliant as our Walter, and more technologically advanced, why didn't he build a dimensional portal and retrieve his son seventeen years ago?

Fairly large snag, wouldn't you agree?

Which begs the second question: if the underlying premise of the show is that multiple realities arise from every single choice and event that ever happens (or even only certain choices and events), why is there only one other universe that poses a threat? Shouldn't there be billions of possible threatening universes?

Well, here's hoping that gets answered by the head writer instead of a minion.

The Evil Overlord List

Boy howdy, was yesterday's a long post! I had no idea until I looked at it again last night. Well, it's a big book. It deserves a big review.

I posted the review on Amazon and Barnes & Noble last night, in a drastically cut form, although I didn't get quite down to Amazon's suggested 300 words. So, I was writing between 7 - 8:30, but I wasn't writing on Past Ties.

Unfortunately, I'm concerned I'm getting sick again. Something new this time. "Maybe it's a tumor." "It's not a tumor. It's not. Not a tumor." My plan is to eat rice until I feel better or die. I think it's a good plan.

I'm going to read my Christmas present from the nieces next: Robert Jordan's and Brandon Sanderson's The Gathering Storm, book 12 of The Wheel of Time series. Robert Jordan is and was an amazing writer. I'll no doubt review him in a later post. After that, I'll most likely read Jill Williamson's By Darkness Hid, or whichever one is the first one. The sequel is coming out in April, and the first book has been getting all kinds of press. I wonder if this book will be more similar to Star of Justice. The two Marcher Lord Press books I've read so far are not.

On with the post. I'll keep it short.

I've had a link hanging around in my favorites lists for a little while. I first saw it posted on The Anomaly, read it, thought it was hilarious and saved it.

In honor of finishing Hero, Second Class with its cadre of monologuing Villains (I misspelled villains throughout yesterday's post, too, thank you for pointing it out, people. No more spell-check, remember?) I'm presenting the link at the top of the blog for this month. After this month, you'll need to click here: http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html,

I can't believe that worked. It didn't use to. We'll see what happens when I publish it.

Warning: this is a long list but it is funny. Don't read it while driving. The first 100 are the funniest, although the hard-core geeks will keep reading (I did). There's some copyright information at the top, but you can scroll down. The funny stuff starts after the cartoon.

Enjoy!

I Won't Survive a Zombie Attack

This is good to know. I learned it from a Facebook quiz appropriately titled "Will You Survive a Zombie Attack?"

It would seem the prerequisites to survival include the ability to run, to survive on only breath mints for weeks at a time and a willingness to abandon any and all dead weight, including my family.

I'm okay with getting eaten the first day.

I suffer from chronic pre-fatigue. That's when you get tired just thinking about doing something. I don't have the stamina to survive a zombie attack, or mummy attack, or attack by any manner of monster, alien or homicidal maniac. I barely have the stamina to survive my workday.

In Star of Justice, Caissa goes full throttle for about 12 days straight. By the end, she is emotionally and physically exhausted. Who wouldn't be? I get tired just thinking about it. But she keeps going until the job is done.

Heroes keep going. "Never give up, never surrender." That's why there are so few heroes in the world. Most of us normals suffer from pre-fatigue.

In Elementals, one of the sisters ends up in a bad place surrounded by mostly bad people and a few somewhat good people. She learns that winning the battle isn't the point; fighting the battle is what's needed. A good friend of mine likes to say we are responsible for our actions, not our results.

As this strange, cold, dark winter drags on, I'm finding it harder and harder to be positive about anything. Not that I'm suicidal (been there, done that, not going back). It just seems my pre-fatigue is worse than normal this season.

So, I'll tie my knot and hang on. I'll also pull out Shaun of the Dead, a great movie about surviving a zombie attack without jettisoning your friends and family. Watch it with the subtitles on, or you'll miss stuff. Don't watch it if you don't enjoy tongue-in-cheek (or tongue-hanging-out-of-cheek, heehee!) zombie movies.

I suppose I'll also stock up on breath mints, just in case.

I Love Fringe

My Facebook friends know I've had a cold the last few days. That means my posts have been typed in the 20 minute respite when the medicine actually works and I can stare at the screen through one squinted eye with Kleenex stuffed up both nostrils.

My colds happen in my eyes. Any light sends me into sneezing fits, so I draw the curtains, keep a cold compress on my eyes and wish for death.

This cold I've been able to listen to the first season of Fringe. You know a show is well-written when you can listen to it instead of watch it.

I should say up front, I don't agree with the Fringe worldview. It's humanistic and cynical and, well, often gross (the pilot episode had melting people in it -eew!). But, I must admit, this is my kind of gross.

I knew I loved this show the moment I met Walter Bishop, the happy mad scientist. He's so excited about dead bodies, and fruit cocktail, and illegal drug use. He eats Twizzlers while performing autopsies. He blows up papayas with micro waves. He talks to dead people, as long as they haven't been dead more than 6 hours. And I love him for it.

I wish I had created Walter. I've invented some wonderful people, but I wish I had created Walter. I suspect I love him so much because he loves food so much. It's the one thing we have in common.

I love Peter and Olivia, too, don't get me wrong. Even darling, dainty Astrid with her unkempt fro has found a place in my heart. She's so quiet and capable. Walter's lab would be hip-deep in exploded fruit if not for her.

Once again, J.J. Abrams has done something wonderful for geeks everywhere. For those of us who've missed The X Files (you know, when it was good, before it turned all alien conspiracy and Scully-loves-Mulder), Fringe is a new take on the old world of weird. And I love it.

Twizzler, anyone?

Voting Begins in Phase 4

Those of you registered with MLS got an email this morning. Polls will stay open until New Year's Eve, when the winner will be announced at 11 PM Eastern. If you vote in this round, you have a chance to win an MLP product, two chances if you vote in both contests.

I scoffed (nicely) at the need for prizes when it was brought up on the boards, but seeing how many of my favorites have vanished, prizes might be a good idea to keep more people engaged.

I have one more main entry to read before I can vote, but I'll do that today.

Here in Kansas, a snow storm is brewing. I'll spend most of the day indoors, working on my website, wrapping presents, reading a new friend's manuscript, and praying for safety for all the well-meaning idiots who don't understand that snowstorms are God's way of telling you to stay home, even on Christmas Eve. Alas, I will be one of those idiots, so spare a prayer for me, if it's not out of your way.

If you are also snowed in by yourself, I have a few more Christmas movie recommendations. If you are snowed it with someone else, shame on you for wasting time watching movies.

Home movies: These are the exception for those home with someone else. These can be just the thing to rekindle the holiday spirit of love and gratitude. Or anger and bitterness, so be careful which home movies you pick to show.

Little Women: A safe movie for the family, except for the worldview philosophy espoused. I can't remember what they call it, but I call it secular humanism when you believe a child will naturally grow into someone wonderful if you just love them enough and let them follow their own inclinations. Humbug! But, I'll watch Christian Bale in almost anything, and its nearly impossible to see Gabriel Byrne in a G-rated, non-villain role, so I like this movie.

Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas: Now available on DVD! I am no longer the only person who will be singing the lyrics to "Barbecue" this Christmas. Or at any backyard barbecue. Or at any gathering where barbecue is present. Or... well, that's enough of that.

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe: I can't believe I left this off my other list! This movie even has Santa Claus in it. I cried when he showed up. I cry a lot during this movie, but it's good crying. I love the way Lewis combines pagan myths with a Christian worldview, as if God is the maker of them all, which He is. Funny. As I write that sentence, my worldview antenna comes up and asks "what stops people from believing God is as mythical as the myths?" Hmm. May have to ponder that a while.

Galaxy Quest: Yeah, I know I already listed this one, but I just watched it last night with some new friends, and I really think the world would be a better place if more people saw this movie.

"Unless I'm wrong, and I'm not (that's Tony Shaloub as Adrian Monk. Is there nothing that man can't do?)."

Anyway, Merry Christmas!

PS: It's a Christmas miracle! My family decided to not risk death and dismemberment by going out tonight. I'm headed down to the stacks to pull out some movies. Galaxy Quest, anyone?

Stress Relief

Seems I'm not the only one feeling a little frustrated. Several "fights" have broken out in the premise contest threads (chuckle). I wondered early on how long it would take for things to get ugly. To paraphrase the little cartoons seeking answers about a Tootsie pop:
"How many rounds does it take to get to the nasty in a writing contest?"
"Let's see. One. To-who. Crunch! Two."

Poor Jeff the Publisher. He called for a group hug. Hopefully, it will be enough to remind us all to behave ourselves. I'm feeling a little more magnanimous today. I apologize to any and all yesterday's rant may have offended. I'm not sorry for the rant. I'm sorry for the offense.

In the spirit of stress relief, I recommend everyone take two hours off and watch a Christmas movie instead of fret over the contest. Here are some of my favorites.

Galaxy Quest: Not technically a Christmas movie, but I once watched it every single day in a December (that's 31 days for those of you who like math). It is, quite possibly, my favorite movie ever. It exalts teamwork, loyalty, self-reliance and helping innocent aliens whenever possible. It also has some of the funniest one-liners ever uttered by Tony Shaloub: "The floors are so clean," "Didn't you see that thing, with the eyeball, like this?" and "Seems okay." This may be my most quoted movie, too.

Scrooged: This is my favorite incarnation of A Christmas Carol. Bill Murray is Frank Cross, a TV executive who hates Christmas and is planning the largest live Christmas show ever on Christmas Eve. It has the Solid Gold Dancers in it! By the time Frank comes around to the meaning of Christmas, I'm balling like a baby. Every time. Great show. Susie, you'll need the TNT version.

The Addams Family: Opened during the Christmas season and spawned a not-too-bad-all-things-considered sequel. This show proves that good triumphs over evil, because in trying to show how evil this family is, the writers only showed how powerful love it. This is a multi-generational family living together, involved in their children's lives and rearing them according to family tradition, with parents completely devoted to one another and supportive of each other's quirks. That's how I see it, anyway. Some of us could learn a few things, eh?

The Fellowship of the Ring: Also opened during the Christmas season. The best of the three in my opinion, and closest to the book in execution, this movie has it all: friendship, devotion, romance, endurance under persecution, and a great soundtrack. I recommend the extended version. If you have the time, go ahead and watch the other two movies. If we get that blizzard on Tuesday, you might need a way to pass 12 hours.

Die Hard: Did you really think I could list Christmas movies and not include the most iconic Christmas movie of all time? This blockbuster took America by storm, spawned three sequels and put Twinkies back on the food pyramid. Susie, you'll definitely need the TNT version of this one. But if shoot 'em up, never-say-die American spirit personified by a bloody, battered Bruce Willis is your cup of joe, by all means, sit back and enjoy the ride. It might also help get some of the fight out before you hit the forum boards again.

Happy watching, people.

Funny Quotes: Beautician and the Beast

I'm a little tired of focusing on the Marcher Lord Select contest, so I'm taking a break today.

The Beautician and the Beast with Fran Drescher and Timothy Dalton was a fluffy little movie with a very old premise: beautiful woman tames savage man. The difference with this movie is the woman is Jewish with a New York accent, and Timothy Dalton is just yummy as the president-for-life (or dictator) of a small European country.

I'd only seen Drescher in The Nanny, but she's got her nasally voice under control in this movie, and it turns out she's a pretty good actress. She has excellent comic timing, anyway.

It's a cutesy little film and I enjoy it more than I should, no doubt. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"Class, it's called Revlon, not Dutch Boy. What do we say? Flashy, not...?"
"Trashy!"

"You should go for your dream. I did."
"But, Daddy, you run a stationary store."
"That was my dream! I love cards."

"Are you kidding? I could find food at Gandhi's house."

"You're nicer than our old teacher. Her breath smelled like something died farting in her mouth."
"Oi!"

"We didn't study Romeo and Juliet..."
"West Side Story, children."
"Oh! I was aware of the gang problems in New York, but I didn't know they were so proficient in ballet."

"Do I not intimidate you at all?"
"Is one of your sideburns shorter than the other?"

"Mom, what's my chicken eating?"
"Same as the rest of us."
"You fed the chicken chicken?"
"I should make two dinners? I don't have enough to do? Besides, it's delicious."
"It's Silence of the Chickens!"

So, I'm laughing now. Hope you are, too.

Things That Make Me Go "Hehehe" All the Way Home

Yesterday was a bit of a rant, so here's my list of things that make me laugh out loud, again in no particular order.

1. Grinning dogs. Some dogs grin all the time, but others really have to work at it. They all make me laugh.

2. The Tom Baker Doctor Who theme song. Come on, nerds and geeks, you know it! Oooh Oooh Oooh, Oooh Oooh. Oooh Oooh Oooh, Oooh Oooh Oooh. OK, so synthesizers don't translate well into English. I'm telling you, I love that song.

3. The Friends episode "The One Where No One's Ready." Chandler and Joey fight over the chair. Phoebe "gets the hummus." Monica obsesses over whether Richard called. And Ross has to drink the fat. If you don't know it, call me. I have it on DVD. "I've watched it 150 times, and it keeps getting funnier every, single time I see it." -Beetlejuice.

4. Rescuing worms from rain puddles. Yeah, you're thinking "gross!" but at least I've saved a life that day. What did you do?

5. Anything cat-related except hairballs (see #9 of yesterday's post). Sleeping cats, playing cats, puzzled cats: they crack me up. Probably why I have six. Let the good times roll.

6. Oreos. How I love those little, processed bits of heaven. I'm one of the weirdos who likes the cookie part better than the creme part. Yes, we do exist.

7. Calling a child by name. It's like magic. Call a child by his name and you have a friend for life. Suddenly you are the best grown-up in the world and the personal property of little Hugo. Use this power carefully, or you will never eat hot food again when children are present.

8. Fruit-shaped Trix. I don't think they make these anymore, but they got me through my fourth semester of college. All I had to do to feel better about the world was pour a bowl of these Runt-like rice crisps, and it was giggle-city. I gained a lot of weight that semester.

9. My nieces. Of course, I have to pin them down or wake them up anymore, but they say some of the funniest things. I like them so much better now that they talk. I'm grinning just thinking about them.

10. A good book. You know the kind. You want to read faster because you enjoy it so much, but you slow down because you don't want it to end. These are getting harder to find (thanks to grammar issues like "less" and "fewer" (see #4 of yesterday's post), but they do still exist. I'm reading one now, and I hope to give you a review tomorrow.

Well, that's my top ten. Feel free to share some of your own. I'd like to know.