My Prayers

I've decided I'm glad about all the national turmoil. Passion is evidence of energy; apathy is nearly impossible to work with, from a therapy standpoint. My prayer for the last two years has been that God would expose evil and remove it. Well, it's exposing itself all over the place.

I've developed some go-to prayers since November.

1. God, make us one as you are one. John 17:21.

I can't imagine what would happen if everyone who says he's a Christian would pray this prayer with me. Discord? Not any more. Revival? Certainly. Powerful witness to unbelievers? Yeah. No wonder Satan works to keep us divided.

2. God, guide our leaders as you would have them go. Proverbs 21:1, 1 Timothy 2:2

I didn't pray for our last president. I figured he was God's answer to us demanding our own way. Who am I to pray against God's permissive will? What might have been different had I prayed? I'm not making that mistake again.

Nearly every day, some days more than once, I pray for our leaders. That God will grant them his wisdom, that he will open doors that lead to his glory, and close doors that lead to evil. I pray that he will open those hearts that will turn to him, and limit the evil being done by those who will never turn to him. And on the subject of evil...

3. Let the evil be caught in their own nets. Google gave me four off the bat: Psalm 141:10, Psalm 35:8, Proverbs 11:6, Proverbs 5:22.

The world is full of evil men. Powerful, evil men. Why did God banish Adam and Eve from Eden (Gen 3:22)? So they wouldn't eat from the tree of life and live forever doing evil. Because he is good, he limited the amount of evil one person can do in a lifetime. We screwed that up with the creation of perpetual corporations, that accrue nearly limitless power and money for people who didn't have to learn how to wisely manage those resources, and we daily see the consequences of flouting God's wisdom.

(The "Evil Corporation" is really a post for another time. Corporations by themselves are a tool, like a gun or a shovel, or a government. Not inherently evil, but so prone to misuse they give the impression of evil.)

The only way to fight that kind of long-lived evil potential is with an eternal, wise, merciful, holy God. May God deal with such things as he sees fit, save those who will be saved, and stop those who will not be saved.

These are my daily prayers. I don't think they're radical in anything other than actively asking God to do what he thinks is best for us. I pray in humility that God opens my eyes, too. If I'm misunderstanding his will or character, I want to change.

I hope you'll join me. If ever there was a time to pray for real peace and unity, this is it. Christians, time to put up or shut up. Call on your God and expect great things.

Keep the faith.

Begin with Forgiveness

It's been a few years since the Lavender Squeak incident, where I learned to apply forgiveness in my own life, so I'm finally willing to say with some authority "yes, this solution works."

Let it go.

One of the curses of living in time is that the past can't be changed. What happened, happened. Whatever the cost, whatever the result, dwelling on it will not do anything except make you miserable and useless now.

Forgiveness begins with forgiving God. Some Christians gasp when you say that. "You can't forgive God! God never makes mistakes!" Maybe not, but God can do or allow things that get my dander up, and, like any friendship, require me to forgive him for testing our relationship.

When I was mad at God, I had to forgive him first. It wasn't an emotion. It was a decision. I decided that I would no longer hold that action against him. It was done, it was behind us, and we would move forward from that moment on without looking back. I marked the account "paid" and I turned the page. The offense is not something I review daily or hourly. It collects dust in a shoebox under the rafters, untouched, waiting for the retention schedule to wind down before being chucked into the shredder.

This is not the same as avoidance. I am fully aware of the offense. I chose not to seek retribution. I chose not to obsess. I chose to let it go. I use past tense because the initial choice solves the problem. I don't entertain the thought "I'm forgiving you for this terrible thing" daily. That isn't forgiveness. Forgiveness is making the choice to let it go, and then letting it go.

For me, the decision to forgive and the release from the anger and the hurt took one night. I decided to forgive, I went to bed, and I woke up lighter than I'd been in years. The anger, bitterness, and hurt was completely diffused. I had trouble even remembering the intensity of the emotions I'd felt fewer than 12 hours before. I believe that my decision to forgive allowed the divine mystery that is God's forgiveness to free me from my past. I do not know if this works for non-Christians. I do not believe it is something a human can do apart from God. I only know that I didn't experience release until I made the decision to let it go.

The offense surfaced in my mind a few more times, but each time I set it firmly behind me and focused on the future. I would have to review this blog to even remember the exact string of events now, so far have I come from that pain, although it was only a few years past.

Please, dear Brothers and Sisters, let it go. All of it. Decide to forgive. Set your past offenses, hurts and tortures down, and walk away from them. They are past. You have the whole future ahead, and how much easier it will be without all that garbage crushing you. As you let go of the past, you may find a whole string of things you didn't even know were there that also require forgiveness. I did. I forgave them, too. I was unbound.

Forgive God, forgive yourself, and forgive your torturers. There will one day be a divine reckoning, and we will be forgiven as we have forgiven others. There's no better time to start your new life.

Embrace your faith.

A Stay of Execution

That sums up my feelings on this election.

Worldview-wise, I am a traditionalist. I believe in a supernatural Creator of awesome power, who designed me specifically to serve and worship him by choice. I believe the Bible literally, except in those instances where it specifically tells me it is being figurative. I am a conservative, who supports the Constitution as written, and the Republican platform as written. I believe there is nothing new under the sun, and sin for every generation is the same-old story in new wrapping paper.

I believe the vast majority of people have no idea what they believe or why. When confronted with questions about how they arrived at their views, most flounder about and walk away confused or retaliate with meaningless cliches. I've done a little of that myself when confronted with completely new thoughts.

TT: I'm still mulling the whole "Holy Spirit as she" issue, but I cannot reconcile it to my worldview. I won't argue the gender of a spirit, but I also have no need to find my "femaleness" in my God. I'm made in his image. I don't need part of him to be female to make that true, and referring to any part of God as "she" summons images of Gaia and Isis and paganism. Sorry, ladies. I'm a female male chauvinist. I don't see that changing.

I was prepared for a Clinton win. I believe the Supreme Court decision legalizing unnatural marriage was the death-knell of America as I knew it. I know that anti-Christ rules a one-world government that cannot emerge until America is dead.  I know we have sacrificed our firstborns at Molech's altar thanks to Roe v. Wade for 40 years. I know we practice adultery and fornication under every spreading umbrella of a free wifi coffee shop. We are Judah before the exile, and who better to lead us into destruction than Jezebel?

My prayers before the election were for God to sustain his children and allow persecution to purify us of all unrighteousness. There are many today who say "Lord, Lord" who do not know God, and more importantly, are not known by God. Persecution separates sheep from goats, and American Christians are long overdue to suffer for our faith.

My hope before the election was that God would be merciful and give our nation a little more time for the homeschoolers to grow up and take over. I believe he granted that hope, and a day later, I'm as surprised that he did as I am every time he relents over Israel and Judah and gives them another chance.

A day after the election, I see the most ungrateful, corrupt, self-involved flesh-worshippers in the history of the world acting out the temper-tantrums of undisciplined children. I see those who should be buckling down in repentance for our apathy, and mourning for the lost, instead crowing over a worldly victory. Why God bothers with us at all is a continual question for me. But it is not my place to question God's reasons. It is my place to not squander the time I have been given.

So, whether Trump turns out to be Nebuchadnezzar, Cyrus or Josiah, I will step out boldly. I will pray daily for God to move the hearts of his people to be actual salt and light instead of a freshwater lightshow of pick-and-choose paganism with a Jesus-flavored coating. I will pray for the hearts of our leaders to turn toward the people they represent, instead of their own glorification and enrichment. I will pray for the heart change that must come before an end to child sacrifice. I will pray for God's truth to spoken and lived, his whole truth, that he is both loving and just. We have forgotten the "just" part, and one day soon, it will devour us whole as he gives us over to the depravity we are determined to indulge.

My hope is not in this world. My hope is in Christ, now and always.

Keep the faith.

A Step Away

Somewhere in this blog I've mentioned the Gillhams, Bill and Anabel, of Lifetime Ministries. Can't find the post at the moment, but I will eventually.

Bill Gillham was a psychologist and minister, and made a career out of teaching that there is no "Old Man" after salvation, so the fight isn't between the New Man and the Old Man but between the New Man and Sin, "Sin" being an exterior personification of evil, much as Wisdom is personified in Proverbs. I'm not going to do justice to a lifetime ministry in one blurb, so I'll leave it at that.

On one of his videos, he said we always talk about Heaven being "up there" or "away yonder," but what if Heaven starts an inch above the ground? What if we walk through Heaven every single day, but we can't perceive it because we're still in our unresurrected skin suits? Would it make a difference to imagine yourself moving through Heaven as you move through your day?

Randy Alcorn makes the argument that this physical world will be resurrected, too, so we are, in effect, occupying the space Heaven will eventually occupy. I suspect Heaven is already here, but phase-shifted.

Anyway, it makes a difference to me to imagine Heaven around me all the time. I find peace in the thought that no matter what step I take, I'm stepping into Jesus, like Michael J. Fox's character in The Frighteners steps into ghosts. Only not ectoplasm-y.

I am a creature of moods, like Rosamund in The Lost Princess. Sometimes they shake me in their teeth, and all I can do is clamp my jaws shut and wait for the next mood. I've been there a few days, but I'm coming 'round. Heaven is a step away, after all. Why should I be moody?

Push button. Receive bacon.

House of Prayer

I am a pray-er. I pray a lot. Not usually in specific, on-my-knees sessions, but throughout the day and night, an ongoing conversation with God covering requests, emotions, thanks and rants. Proverbs 3:5-6 is one of my favorite verses. I take the "in all your ways acknowledge him" part very seriously, expecting him to "direct my path."

TT: This was why it was so hard for me and him to be on the outs in the Winter of 2012. How do you stop talking to someone who's been in the room with you for 30+ years?

I take my example from Moses, who was "a friend of God." I talk to my friends, and I rarely hold back. So, I pray.

God recently reminded me he answers prayers long-term.

See, some of my prayers are immediate, like "God, I need that notebook for work. Please show me where it is." He did, btw, within minutes.

Most of my prayers are long-term, and I don't expect to see the results in this life, like "God, protect Big Brother and all of his Siblings in Black and cousins in emergency services. Protect them mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically from all that comes against them today." I have no idea how God actually does that for all the law enforcement officers in Topeka, but I know he's working on it, and I thank him every day Big Brother comes home well.

Years ago, I studied prayer under Jim Cymbala of the Mormon Tabernacle. Not personally; it was a devotional. Pretty sure he compared prayer to building a house. Houses are built one brick at a time. You don't lay a brick and expect the house to be finished. You keep laying bricks. Just because I don't see an instant result doesn't mean nothing is happening. My house of prayer won't be finished until this life is over and the next begins. God is kind to let me see results now, but he is kinder to produce results. That's why I pray.

Keep praying. Pray for the big issues and the little ones. Tell God your hopes and fears. He already knows them, so don't hold back. Our goal isn't to make God do something; it's to open our eyes to what he is doing, every day.

Push button. Receive bacon.

Wait and See

Have you heard the story of the old farmer who had a beautiful, well-trained horse? The whole village said that was good. The farmer said, "wait and see."

The horse runs away. The village says you were right, having a horse was bad.
"Wait and see."

The horse comes back with six wild horses. The village says you were right. The horse running away was good.
"Wait and see."

The farmer's son breaks his leg while breaking one of the wild horses. "You were right. Getting those horses was bad."
"Wait and see."

The kingdom goes to war, and all the sons are drafted, except the farmer's. "You were right. The broken leg was a good thing."
"Wait and see."

The point of the tale, of course, is we can't really tell what works for us or against us until the very end of the story. The meaning of each incident was affected by what went before and what came after.

My nature is to draw conclusions from facts. That isn't changing. I am learning that what seems a disaster might be opportunity, and what feels like an end may be a beginning. False expectations ruin more lives than actual problems.

I don't have all the facts. I don't know how God will use your life or mine. I only know that He has, and He will continue.
"Wait and see."

Applaud the jellyfish.

Point of View

Point of View is a daily talk show whose motto is "Defending Family, Faith and Freedom." The show is over 20 years old and used to air on a radio station here in Topeka until that station changed hands and formatting. I wasn't willing to give up the show, so I started listening to the broadcast on the internet.

The best day of my life was the day I met host Kerby Anderson in person, and got to hear him interview Kris Kobach, then running for Kansas' Secretary of State. Click the link to read about that. It seems tame now when I think of how pumped I still am about that day.

I listened to Point of View for years until I changed to a job where I can't listen at work.

The show is available for download, and they have a way to listen with your phone, but I'm the Turtle, and I don't use tech well. I stopped listening for nearly three years, although I continued to support the show monthly. They were the first ministry I ever donated to, and I had no qualms the quality would change just because I wasn't listening.

I was right. As part of my new year's resolutions (which for me started when my boss Kris Kobach was reelected for a second term as Secretary of State - Go, Kris!), I decided to give up the useless hour and a half of TV sitcom reruns I'd been watching after work, and replace it with a Point of View episode from the website pointofview.net.

And there they are. All my old friends, mentors, brothers and sisters on the front line of the culture war, examining current events under the lens of a Biblical worldview. Highlighting ways to spread God's love and light in the darkness. Modeling how to disagree without being disagreeable. Daily illustrating, time and again, my own views of what it means to be a Christian, to be a conservative, and to be compassionate without compromise.

I strongly encourage you to make Point of View part of your life. I have no doubt they will bless and challenge you.

Keep the faith.

My Idea of Heaven

A couple months ago, I was musing about eternity. I want to spend it in a small house in the middle of a huge garden (I'm talking Rhode Island-sized), taking care of all the cats, squirrels, rabbits, turtles, frogs, etc. that were abused or destroyed by thoughtless, careless humans on Earth. I see myself alone in this scenario, other than the animals, and Jesus' daily stop-in.

TT: Jesus is incarnate now, so I constantly wrestle with how He can be everywhere at once. It seems clear to me that after the resurrection, He is a "new creation," both fully God and fully man, transfigured. God the Father and the Holy Spirit remain spirits only, but Jesus is something else.  I don't see His return to Heaven means He shed His new body, which the gospels go to great lengths to show was physical, which also means Heaven is a physical place, even if it exists in another dimension. But this is another post.

This realization surprised me. I have a lot of loved on The Other Side, and I'd like to see them again, but it seems I don't want to spend all eternity living in their pockets. Why should I? They don't want to live with me now, why should they share my comfortable hole in the hill forever? Get your own hole. It's Heaven. There's plenty of room.

Now I've read Revelation. I know all about New Jerusalem, but I also know it "comes down out of Heaven," meaning it isn't Heaven. It's a city in Heaven/on Earth, whatever. I'm totally willing to visit, but I don't want to live in a city for all eternity, and I don't care what it's made of. I hate the city. I only live in a city because I'm unwilling to kill my own meat. And because I don't want to star in a horror film about a cabin in the woods.

Jesus knows me. If He's preparing a place, it's going to be someplace I will love. I guess I'm just surprised at what that definition currently is.

Happy Thursday, dear readers. Put your galoshes on. Gonna be a wet morning in Kansas.

Practicing Forgiveness

Every decade or so my world gets shaken. It's probably more often than that, but I'm trying to be positive. Usually this shaking comes in the form of someone doing something that is completely out of the character I understand them to have.

I'm not a good judge of character. I have no instincts, no intuition. I measure folks by one yardstick, really - me. What would I do in a similar situation? Which is why I often get the hell shocked out of me when someone doesn't choose the path I would.

Most of the time, this is surprising but not world-shaking. Most of the time, this doesn't cause a problem. Every once in a while, though, this surprise leads to shock, disappointment and anger.

Had one of those happen recently, and I'm struggling to deal. This is the time to apply that "forgiveness" lesson I learned last November.

See, forgiveness is a choice. It's me being aware a wrong was done, but not marking it in my Book of Wrongs and reviewing it nightly as I plot revenge. I know the wrong occurred. I will take steps to deal with the consequences. I will not brood over how I was wronged and how that person should now burn in hell for eternity.  I will not allow one wrong to ruin the rest of my life, or the rest of my relationships.

It's hard. I don't have good instincts, but I have an excellent memory. Burn me enough and we are done. Not because I hate you, but because I won't live my life in a fireplace. I doubt that's how Christ would do it, but I'm not Him yet.

Anyway, today is a day of forgiveness. No wrong done against me will destroy my eternity, and I will trust the real Judge to deal with true wrongs in due time. God has my back. I don't have to waste another emotional minute on this.

Happy Hump Day, dear readers. Choose to forgive today, for your sake, not theirs.

I'll Choose...Ethics

The majority of my FV neighbors have reached levels I can no longer access easily. This is a good thing for my blog readers because it means I will be blogging in the mornings again. It is a bad thing for my FV neighbors because I cannot help them as much as I would like. Such is life.

I have many topics running through my head this morning. It's been a while since inspiration has struck so forcefully but it makes it hard to pick just one.

The new Doctor Who continues to fascinate me. His writers chose to explore the ethical implications of cloning for research purposes (unlike James Cameron's Avatar) even though the Doctor has no appreciable grounds for ethical behavior. His "morality" springs from nothing more than a general desire to "do good."

(I could diverge into the argument that the concepts of "good" and "evil" can exist only within the framework of a moral law, and a moral law can only exist if there is a moral lawgiver, but Ravi Zacharius does it so much better, I'll leave it to him.)

Suffice it to say, the Doctor had a problem with humans being grown solely for research purposes and so do I. As I think about it, in another episode, he refers to using the "souls" of humans as well as their minds to solve an unsolvable problem. Interesting. The pre-2000 Doctors would never have allowed for such a metaphysical possibility as a soul. Perhaps post-modernism has reached a point where no viewpoint consistency is required at all. Or, England is swinging back to some form of conservative sanity. I suppose anything is possible.

Which starts me on the path of consistency. I was recently arguing in Sunday School (yes, I argue in church; deal with it) about how the post-modern lack of consistency has wormed its way into nearly every form of entertainment media. I've spent a few (wasted) hours watching the Disney Channel with the nieces and I can personally attest to the complete lack of logical consistency or even natural consequences in the majority of those shows. It's no wonder children today don't relate actions with consequences. When do they ever see the two linked?

(Does anyone else have a problem with the use of the word "kids" instead of "children?" I personally hate the word when applied to humans, but I must admit, when trying to refer to children between the ages of 10 and 18 as "children," I now feel personally uncomfortable. Thank you, political correctness. And don't get me started on the use of "he or she" instead of "he." Stop messing with my language!)

Where was I? Oh, right. Post-modernism.

For those who don't know, post-modernism is what happens when ultimate truth is rejected as a concept. Our society is smack dab in the early middle of the consequences for said rejection. It's how someone can say, "Well, I don't personally agree with abortion, but it's not my place to tell a woman she can't have one." Right...because murder is okay as long as someone else does it and you wouldn't personally.

Unfortunately, ethics is something being lost, ignored and just plain rejected today. Jeff Goldblum's (oh, that irony!) Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park said it very well: "You were so busy trying to see if you could, you didn't stop to think whether you should."

But maybe the Apostle Paul said it best: "Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial."

'Nuff said. For now.

Islands and Bridges

This post idea has been knocking about my brain for some time. I suppose it's time to get it out.

Remember that old Robin Williams' movie where he becomes a hotel owner in the Caribbean? Yeah, I barely remember it myself. But there's one piece of dialogue I do remember. Someone tells him "no man is an island."

"What does that mean?" he replies. "No man is a woman, either."

I love Robin Williams.

Anyway, I think people fall into two categories - islands and bridges. Actually, I think they fall into way more categories than that, but for the sake of brevity, I'll confine it to those two today. (Which reminds me of a Robin Williams' quote from another movie: "There's only two kinds of people - those who smoke and those who don't. Figure out which one you are and be that." Where's it from? Hehe!)

So we've got islands and bridges. What does that mean? To me it's a description of introverts and extroverts.

Introverts are islands. They are content in their own inner world and it is difficult to lure them out of the jungle.

Extroverts are bridges. They are so interested in other people's lives it's almost impossible to get them to pay attention to their own. They certainly don't spend any time navel gazing. They have no idea what keeps introverts so introverted, so they push and prod and pinch until the introvert is forced to walk out to the beach and smack the interlopers.

Both types are necessary. If not for bridges, no one would connect to anyone else. If not for islands, no one would get any work done. Islands are notoriously good focusers on things that interest them. Bridges...not so much. Unless it's getting islands to talk to them.

Not a great post, I'll admit. Not terribly profound or even interesting, but I suspect it will come up again, so I wanted to get it out there.

In college, I had a roommate with whom I was very close. At times, we would look at each other and ask, "Did I tell you this or just think about telling you this?"

Now I've told you.

Inspiration

The author of I Am Ocilla yesterday posed the question "Where does your inspiration come from?" Or something to that effect. Forgive me, Diane, I can't remember your exact words.

This is slightly different than the more common and somewhat annoying question found in author interviews "How do you get your ideas?" I don't think I've read or listened to an interview about a new book where the moderator didn't ask that.

I personally think it's a silly interview question, like asking "Why are your eyes green?" I don't know. They just are. I don't know where my ideas come from. They just come.

Upon further reflection, I must assume the question is asked because normal, non-author people don't think up stories. I don't know if the stories don't germinate or a non-author just ignores them and moves on. Maybe a little of both.

But the brain of a story-teller does seem to be a mystery to non-story-tellers. Well, your brains are mysteries to us, too. That's one of the reasons we write.

As I told Diane, my inspiration usually comes from seeing another story and realizing I could tell it differently (in my brain "differently" is spelled "better," but that's just my natural arrogance leaking out). Movies are my most common inspiration, but not entire movies. Often one tiny scene or look or gesture hits me just the right way and I find myself creating a story around that moment. The final product is rarely recognizable from its seed.

Every once in a while, a dream will provide a possible story thread. I have a few what I call "short stories" that started as a dream. I doubt very much I will ever try to publish those. Perhaps after my death.

I can trace every one of my potential novels, except for Star of Justice, to a movie moment. I don't know where Star of Justice came from. I am glad it came.

Communication

I was in college before I realized other people could be interesting.

I knew this about family. God blessed me with extremely funny brothers, a supportive mother and a doting father. I love each of them with my whole heart and prefer their company above most others on most days.

In college, I took a class on communication from one of the greatest teachers I have ever known, Dr. Dennis Glenn. Through that class, I learned to notice people other than my family.

This was not always good. Some people can be more annoying than interesting. Alas, very few of them know who they are.

I have talked with many people since college. Some are excellent communicators. Some are not. I've spoken with a few who remind me of Jayne from Firefly ("How did you learn to form human speech?").

I've said before and I'll say again, communication with you is my responsibility. If I have a message to convey, it is up to me to convey it.

I would normally apply this to fiction writing. I have before. Today I apply it to all forms of communication.

Our country is smack in the middle of a war of worldviews. We think we're right; they think they're right. It is polarizing the country and may well rip us apart.

I am a political activist, but I hope I am a Christ follower first. I do not place my trust in the government of man, because man is a fallen being whose every tendency from birth is to do evil. Government will not save us.

On the other hand, as a Christ follower, I am aware of certain universal truths, truths like "everybody needs Jesus." Only Christ can change a heart. Only Christ offers eternal salvation, not just peace on earth. But peace on earth can be a side-effect of a Christ-changed heart. History teaches us that after revival comes a decrease in crime, drinking, gambling and abuse. Society as a whole becomes better behaved with Christ as Lord.

We live in a world where people prefer to think any kind of spirituality is good. As long as you believe in something, you'll be okay. As a result, we have a lot of people headed straight to hell on a road of good intentions.

Christ will return to earth to judge the living and the dead. The Bible makes this very clear. It also clearly states no one knows when that will happen. It does give some signs to look for: wars, natural disasters, alliances between countries who have never allied before (Russia and Iran, for example), the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem.

It is our duty as Christ followers to communicate truth no matter the personal cost. I fully expect to be arrested someday, in America, for proclaiming the truth the Bible teaches. I am okay with that. Jesus says if I do not acknowledge Him before men, He will not acknowledge me before His Father. That frightens me more.

I urge my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to be ready, as well. The world is out to silence us. It does not want to hear about Jesus.

As authors, it is our duty to communicate Christ. In our words, spoken and written, we must speak about the only one Who can save the world. In our books, our op-ed pieces, our church devotionals, even our FB status updates, we must remember to speak Christ.

This world is running out of time. We are not promised tomorrow. Today could be the last day to tell that friend about Jesus, the most interesting person anyone can ever know. Be ready to introduce Him. Doing so will change our world, one person at a time.